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The Master said: "The great man does not get close to those who are virtuous, but trusts those who are humble; the people are lost because of this, and the teaching is troubled because of this. The Book of Songs says: "If they seek me, it is as if they cannot get me; if they hold my enemies, they will not be able to help me. ’Jun Chen said: ‘If you have not seen a sage, you are not able to see him; if you have seen a sage, you cannot follow him. ’”
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
After Wang Dun got down from the boat, he stopped at Shitou, intending to depose Emperor Ming. The guests were seated in large numbers. Dun knew that the emperor was intelligent and wanted to depose him for being unfilial. Whenever someone mentioned the emperor's unfilial behavior, they always said it was said by Concubine Wen. Wen once served as the commander of the Eastern Palace, and later became our Sima, and he knows it very well. Soon, Wen came. Dun showed his authority and asked Wen, "What kind of person is the Crown Prince?" Wen said, "A mean person cannot judge a gentleman." Dun's tone was stern, and he wanted to use his authority to make him obey him, so he asked Wen again, "Why is the Crown Prince good?" Wen said, "He is a man of deep insight, which is beyond the reach of shallow knowledge. However, he serves his parents with courtesy, which can be called filial piety."
Only the most sincere man in the world can manage the great principles of the world, establish the great foundation of the world, and understand the transformation and nurturing of heaven and earth. What can he rely on? His sincere benevolence! His profound abyss! His vast heaven! If he is not a wise and holy person who understands the virtue of heaven, who can know it?
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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