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A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
When Xu Yuan was young, people compared him to Wang Gouzi, which made Xu very upset. At that time, many people and Master Yu were giving lectures at the West Temple in Kuaiji, and the king was also there. Xu Yi was very angry, so he went to the West Temple to discuss the pros and cons with Wang. The king was deeply humiliated after being so frustrated. Xu Fu held Wang's position, and Wang held Xu's position, and they exchanged letters with each other; Wang was again submissive. Xu said to Master Zhi: "What did your disciple say just now?" Zhi said calmly: "Your words are good, but why do you have to be so bitter? This is not a talk about seeking the truth!"
The ancient scholars: compare the ugly things. The drum does not match the five sounds, and the five sounds cannot be in harmony. The water does not match the five colors, and the five colors cannot be out of order. Learning does not match the five senses. The five senses cannot be unmanaged. The teacher does not match the five clothes, and the five clothes cannot be unrelated.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
What is a "mao"? It is to cover the body. From the funeral to the small funeral, if you don't set up a "mao", you will be exposed. So you set up a "mao" after the funeral. Someone asked Zengzi, "Is it like wrapping up the rest after sending it away, or wrapping up the rest after eating? Do gentlemen wrap up the rest after eating?" Zengzi said, "My son, have you not seen the great feast? In a grand feast, after the feast, the three animals are rolled up and returned to the guesthouse. Parents are treated as guests, so they mourn! Have you not seen a grand feast? "If it is not a funeral, why ask and give?
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