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Gu Sikong did not know his name, so he went to see Prime Minister Wang. Prime Minister Xiao Ji was tired of it. Gu thought about why he had to ask for his advice, and said to his companions, "I have often heard that Yuan Gongdao assisted Zhongzong and protected Jiangbei. He was a little uneasy, which made people gasp." The Prime Minister realized this and said to Gu, "This boy is very smart and sharp."
"Confucians live with modern people and study with ancient people; they practice what they do in the present and they are regarded as models by future generations; they are not in the right era, and they are not supported by their superiors and pushed by their subordinates. There are people who form a party and endanger them. Their bodies can be endangered, but their will cannot be taken away. Although they live in danger, they still believe in their will and will not forget the people's suffering. Their worries are like this.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When meeting people, he should not remove mourning clothes, even when he goes to the court of the king. Only the government has to pay taxes and wear mourning clothes. It is said: "A gentleman should not take away people's mourning clothes, nor should he take away their mourning clothes." It is said: "If there are many crimes, the punishment should be five times, and if there are many mourning clothes, the mourning clothes should be five times, and the upper and lower should be attached to each other."
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When Xie Renzu was eight years old, Xie Yuzhang was about to see off a guest. At that time, he had already attained enlightenment from his words and entered the upper stream. Everyone sighed and said, "He is the younger Yan Hui sitting here." King Renzu said, "Without Ni Fu sitting here, how can we distinguish Yan Hui?"
Wake up early, the woman bathes and waits for the meeting; at dawn, the husband helps the woman to meet the uncle and aunt, holds a basket, dates, chestnuts, and cuts to meet, helps the woman to offer wine, and the woman offers dried meat and salted meat, and offers wine, which completes the woman's etiquette. When the uncle and aunt enter the room, the woman offers a special pig to show that the woman is obedient. At dawn, the uncle and aunt The women are feasted together with a ceremony of offering sacrifices and offerings. The uncles and aunts first descend from the west steps, and the women descend from the east steps, to show their generation.
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