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When Jianwen was Fujun, he once went to the court with Huan Xuanwu, and they took turns to let each other sit in front. Xuanwu had no choice but to go ahead, so he said: "Bo also holds the spear and drives ahead for the king." Jianwen said: "It is said that 'no matter how small or big, follow the king in his march'."
They seek but cannot find him, they enter the door but cannot see him, they go up to the hall but cannot see him, they enter the room but cannot see him. He is gone, he is dead! He can never be seen again! Therefore, they cry and dance, and stop when they have exhausted their grief. Their hearts are sad and sorrowful, they are confused and angry, their hearts are broken and their wills are sad. They offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples and offer sacrifices to the ghosts, hoping that they will return.
When Xu Xuandu sent his mother out of the capital, someone asked Liu Yin, "Does Xuandu believe what he has heard?" Liu Yin said, "His talent and intelligence exceed what I have heard."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
He Huqi's younger brother wanted to avoid the world because of his noble sentiments, but Huqi persuaded him to take up an official post. He replied, "I am ranked fifth, why should I reduce the number of cavalry?"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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