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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The poor do not consider money as a gift, and the old do not consider their strength as a gift.
Xie Gong enjoyed the art with the wise men of the time, and E and Hu'er were sitting there with him. The Duke asked Li Hongdu, "How is your family in Pingyang compared to Le Ling?" Li Hongdu burst into tears and said, "When the King of Zhao usurped the throne, Le Ling personally gave him the seal and ribbon. My late uncle Yazheng was ashamed to be in a chaotic court, so he resorted to drugs. I'm afraid they can't be compared! This is self-evident from the facts, not just my personal opinion." Xie Gong said to Hu Er, "Those who are knowledgeable are not different from others."
When Gu Rong was in Luoyang, he once accepted someone's invitation. He noticed that the person who was roasting meat wanted to be roasted too, so he stopped what he was doing. Those sitting together laughed at him. Rong said, "How can one hold it all day long and not know its taste?" Later, when he encountered chaos and had to cross the river, every time he was in danger, there was always one person by his side. When he asked him why, he found out that he was the one who was being burned.
When Zhang Wuxing was eight years old, he was missing teeth. The wise knew that this was not normal, so they joked with him, "Why is there a dog hole in your mouth?" Zhang replied, "It is for you to go in and out through it!"
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
Mr. Xie was playing go with someone when a letter from Xie Xuanhuai arrived. After reading the book, he remained silent and looked towards the bureau. The guest asked about the benefits and disadvantages of Huai River? He replied, "We, the kids, defeated the thieves." His expression and behavior were normal.
When Emperor Xiaowu of Jin was twelve years old, it was winter. He did not change his clothes during the day, but only wore five or six layers of single cotton clothes, and slept on a mat at night. Xie Gong advised, "Your Majesty's body should be kept in a regular state. Your Majesty is too cold during the day and too hot at night. I'm afraid this is not the right way to keep healthy." The emperor said, "Be active during the day and quiet at night." Xie Gong left and sighed, "You are no less rational than the previous emperor."
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