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Men and women have different heights. When a man is twenty, he is crowned and given a name. In front of the father, it is the son's name; in front of the king, it is the minister's name. When a girl is betrothed, she is given a name after she reaches the age of marriage.
Wang Zijing went from Kuaiji to Wu and heard that Gu Pijiang had a famous garden. I didn't recognize the host at first, so I went straight to his house, where I saw Gu gathering his guests and friends for a drunken feast. When the king finished his travels, he gave orders about his likes and dislikes as if no one was around. Gu was furious and said, "To be arrogant to the master is not polite; to be arrogant to others because of one's status is not the right way. If one loses these two, he is not worthy of being a human being and is a fool!" He then drove his attendants out of the door. The king turned around alone in the carriage, looked left and right, but saw no one coming. Then he ordered the chopsticks to be sent out the door, looking disdainful.
A gentleman acts according to his position and does not want to go beyond it. If you are rich and noble, behave like a rich and noble person; if you are poor and humble, behave like a poor and humble person; if you are a barbarian, behave like a barbarian; if you are in trouble, behave like a barbarian. A gentleman is content with everything he does. If he is in a high position, he will not bully those below him; if he is in a low position, he will not rely on those above him; if he is upright and does not seek help from others, he will not have any complaints. He will not blame the heaven above him, nor will he blame others below him. Therefore, a gentleman lives in ease and waits for his fate. A villain takes risks and hopes for luck. Confucius said, "Shooting is like a gentleman. If he misses the target, he should look for the reason in himself."
The eldest son of Shan Gong was wearing a short cap and leaning in the carriage. Emperor Wu wanted to see him, and Shan Gong did not dare to refuse. He asked his son, but the son refused to go. The contemporary opinion was that he was Shengshan Gong.
Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
Zhongni tasted it, offering sacrifices to his parents was sincere, and his steps were hurried and counted. After the sacrifice, Zi Gan asked, "When you said sacrifice, it was full of people and clear. But now your sacrifice is not full of people and clear. Why is that?" Confucius said, "Full of people means that one is far away; clear of people means that one is self-reflective. If one is far away, or if one is self-reflective, how can the gods communicate with each other, and how can there be full of people and clear of people? Feedback, music is complete, offer the offerings, arrange the rituals and music, and prepare all the officials. A gentleman is full of people and clear of people, how can he be confused? Is there only one thing to say? Everyone has his own duties."
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
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