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When Deng You first sought refuge, he abandoned his own son on the road and saved his disciples. After crossing the river, he took a concubine and loved her very much. Many years later, when I asked him about the reason, I was told that he was a northerner who had suffered from rebellion. I remembered his parents' names and found out that he was You's nephew. You had always been a virtuous man with impeccable words and deeds. When he heard about this, he felt grief and resentment for the rest of his life and never kept a concubine again.
The king's large coffin is eight inches, the ribs are six inches, and the sill is four inches; the upper minister's large coffin is eight inches, the ribs are six inches; the lower minister's large coffin is six inches, the ribs are four inches, and the scholar's coffin is six inches. The king's inner coffin uses red and green, and uses mixed gold iron; the minister's inner coffin uses dark green, and uses ox bone iron; the scholar does not use green. The king's cover is painted, with three lapels and three bundles; the minister's cover is painted, with two lapels and two bundles; the scholar's cover is not painted, with two lapels and two bundles. The king and the ministers rub their nails; they fill the green; the scholar buries it. The king's funeral uses a sedan chair, which is piled up to the top and painted
After asking the mother of Yinman's father, he was buried together in Fang. When a neighbor dies, the pounding of rice does not meet; when a village dies, people do not sing in the alley. The mourner's cap is not tied.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
It is said in the past: When Prime Minister Wang crossed the Yangtze River, he only taught three principles: to have no sorrow or joy in voice, to keep in good health, and to express one's thoughts fully. However, the winding path of life is everywhere.
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