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Nan Sheng Dare to Love

Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

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During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."

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Ziyou asked, “Is it a courtesy to mourn a loving mother as if she were your own mother?” Confucius said, “It is not a courtesy. In ancient times, men had tutors outside and loving mothers inside, and they were appointed by the king to teach their children. Why should they wear mourning clothes? In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu lost his mother when he was young. He had a loving mother who was good. When her mother died, the duke could not bear to mourn her. He wanted to mourn her. The officials reported it to the king, who said, “According to the ancient etiquette, loving mothers should not be mourned. Now you are mourning for her. This is against the ancient etiquette and disrupts the laws of the country. If you carry it out, the officials will write it down and leave it to future generations. Isn’t it wrong!” The duke said, “In ancient times, the emperor wore a silk hat when he was at home. 'The Duke could not bear it, so he wore a white hat to mourn his beloved mother. The practice of mourning a beloved mother began with Duke Zhao of Lu. Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet the emperor, they cannot complete the ceremony when entering the door. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Four." Please ask. He said, "The great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished. If all the princes are present and the sun is eclipsed, they will follow the emperor to put out the sun, and each will give his own weapons in his own color. If the great temple is on fire, they will follow the emperor to put out the fire, and will not give his own weapons in his own color." Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet, they bow and yield to each other when entering the door, and cannot complete the ceremony. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Six." Please ask. He said, "When the emperor dies, the great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished." Zengzi asked, "When the emperor has offered sacrifices to the five sacrifices in the suburbs and the altars, the food and utensils have been laid out, and when the emperor dies, what should be done with the queen's funeral?" Confucius said, "Abolished. Zengzi asked, "When the sacrifice is to be made and the sun is eclipsed, and the Taimiao is on fire, what should be done with the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "Just follow the sacrifice. If the animal arrives but has not been killed, it is cancelled. When the emperor dies but has not been buried, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the funeral, the sacrifice is performed, the corpse is brought in, the three meals are not served, and the wine is not vinegared. From the opening to the return of the mourning, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the burial, the sacrifice is performed, the prayers are finished and the offerings are made." Zengzi asked, "When the princes offer sacrifices to the gods and grain, the sacrificial vessels and dishes are already laid out. What should they do when they hear of the death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the king, or the mourning of the lady?" Confucius said, "Abolish it. From the death to the funeral, from the opening to the return of the mourning, they serve the emperor." Zengzi asked, "When the ministers offer sacrifices, the tripods and sacrificial vessels are laid out, and the dishes are set out, but the rituals cannot be completed. How many of them are cancelled?" Confucius said, "Nine. "Please ask. He said: "The death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the monarch, the mourning of the lady, the fire of the monarch's grand temple, the solar eclipse, the three-year mourning, the mourning of Qisui and the great merit are all abolished. The mourning of the outside world from Qisui onwards is carried out. The sacrifice of Qisui is that the corpse is brought in, three meals are not served, and the wine is not made with vinegar. The great merit is just a vinegar. The small merit and mourning are just things in the room. The reason why scholars are different is that they do not offer sacrifices in mourning, and they offer sacrifices to the dead without wearing mourning clothes. "

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In all ways of governing people, nothing is more urgent than ritual. There are five classics of ritual, and nothing is more important than sacrifice. Sacrifice is not something that comes from the outside, but something that comes from the heart; the heart is afraid and respects it with ritual. Therefore, only the wise can fully fulfill the meaning of sacrifice. When a wise man offers sacrifice, he will surely receive blessing. This is not what the world calls blessing. Blessing means preparation; preparation is the name of a hundred obediences. Those who are obedient in everything are called prepared. It means that one should be devoted to oneself internally and obedient to the Way externally. A loyal minister serves his lord, and a filial son serves his parents. The root of this is the same. Obedient to the gods above, obedient to the lord externally, and filial to the parents internally. This is called preparation. Only the wise man can be prepared, and only when he is prepared can he offer sacrifice. Therefore, the sacrifice of the wise man is to show his sincerity and loyalty, to offer him things, to guide him with etiquette, to comfort him with music, and to participate in the time. It is clear and that is all. Do not seek to do it. This is the heart of the filial son. Offering sacrifice is to commemorate and continue the filial piety. Filial piety means nurturing. Obeying the Way and not going against the ethics is called nurturing. Therefore, when a filial son serves his parents, there are three ways: nurturing when they are alive, mourning when they are dead, and offering sacrifice after the mourning. In raising a child, we observe his obedience; in mourning, we observe his sorrow; in offering sacrifices, we observe his respect and timing. Those who fulfill these three ways are filial sons. After doing their best internally, they also seek help from outside, which is the wedding ceremony. Therefore, the king of a country takes the wife's words: "Please share my humble city with your daughter and serve the ancestral temple and the altar of the country." This is the basis of seeking help. In sacrifices, the husband and wife must be close to each other, so as to prepare the external and internal officials; if the officials are prepared, everything is complete. The pickled water grass, the minced meat of land products, and the small things are ready; the three animals are prepared for the sacrificial table, the fruits of the eight dishes are prepared, and the different insects, the fruits of the plants and trees, and the things of yin and yang are prepared. All the things born by heaven and the long things of the earth, as long as they can be offered, are all present, showing that everything is done. To use everything externally and to do one's best internally is the heart of sacrifice. Therefore, the emperor personally ploughs in the southern suburbs to share the prosperity; the queen raises silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the pure clothes. The princes ploughed in the eastern suburbs to share the prosperity; the ladies raised silkworms in the northern suburbs to share the crown and clothing. The emperor and the princes did not plough without him, and the queen and her wives did not plough without him. They should be sincere and honest. Sincerity is called perfection, and perfection is called respect. Only when respect is reached can one serve the gods. This is the way of offering sacrifices. When offering sacrifices in time, the gentleman is in order. The word "Qi" means to be in order. The one who is not in order is in order. Therefore, the gentleman is not in order unless he has a major event or is respectful. If he is not in order, he will not be on guard against things, and his desires will not be stopped. When he is about to be in order, he will guard against evil things, stop his desires, and his ears will not listen to music. Therefore, it is recorded in the book: "The one who is in order is not happy", which means that he dare not be distracted. If the heart is not careless, it must follow the way; if the hands and feet are not careless, they must follow the etiquette. Therefore, the gentleman's order is to concentrate on his wisdom and wisdom. Therefore, it takes seven days to disperse the order and three days to make it. The order is called order. Qi means the utmost wisdom, and only then can one communicate with the gods. Therefore, one day before the date, the palace minister stays with the lady, and the lady also disperses Qi for seven days and gathers Qi for three days. The king gathers Qi outside, and the lady gathers Qi inside, and then they meet in the Great Temple. The king stands in the east with a pure crown, and the lady stands in the east room with a deputy crown. The king holds the jade tablet and the naked corpse, and the great clan holds the jade tablet and the second naked corpse. When welcoming the sacrifice, the king holds the silk, and the ministers and officials hold the grass. The clan women hold the jar and follow the lady to offer the water. The king holds the phoenix knife and the lady offers the beans. This is called the closeness between husband and wife.

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