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When parents are ill, those who wear hats do not comb their hair, walk do not gallop, talk do not lazily, do not play the zither and the qin, eat meat without changing its taste, drink wine without changing its appearance, laugh do not laugh too loudly, and be angry without swearing. The disease stops and returns to normal.
Ziyou asked Confucius, and Confucius said, "No! Establish the grandson."
Xie Jingzhong's daughter married Wang Xiaobo'er, and the two men loved each other very much. Xie was appointed as Chief Clerk of the Grand Tutor, but was dismissed. The king then appointed him as Chief Clerk and gave him charge of Jinling County. The Grand Tutor had already framed Xiaobo and did not want him to have a chance to apologize, so he sent him back to be his advisor. Outwardly it appears to be in a state of tension, but in reality it is in a state of disarray. After Xiao Bo was defeated, the Grand Tutor went around the East Palace City and dispersed. His subordinates all stood at the South Gate to wait for him and pay him respects. At that time, he said to Xie: "Wang Ning has a conspiracy, and it is said that you are his plan." Xie Zeng showed no fear, and replied with his hu tablets: "Le Yanfu once said: 'Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?'" The Grand Tutor liked his answer, so he raised his glass to persuade him, saying: "So you are better! So you are better!"
Duke Dai went out from the east, and Taifu Xie went to see him. Xie Ben wore it lightly, and only met him to discuss musical instrument and books. Dai was not stingy and his discussion of the zither and calligraphy became even better. Xie Youran knew his capacity.
When Huan Xuanwu died, Huan Nanjun was five years old and the mourning period had just ended. Huan's chariot and cavalry went to see off his former civil and military officials. He pointed to Nanjun and said, "These are all your family's former officials." Xuan responded by weeping loudly, and those around him were moved. The charioteer always looked at his own seat and said, "When Lingbao has grown up, this seat should be returned to him." He loved Ju more than his own son.
If there is a minister who is completely incompetent and has no other skills, and whose heart is at ease, how can he tolerate it? If someone has skills, he will treat them as if they were his own; if someone is a wise man, he will like them in his heart, as if they were coming out of his mouth. If he can really tolerate them, he can protect his descendants and the people, and it is still beneficial! If someone has skills, he will be jealous and hate them; if someone is a wise man, he will oppose them and make them unacceptable: If he can really not tolerate them, he will not be able to protect his descendants and the people, and it is also dangerous! "Only benevolent people can exile them and drive them to the four barbarians, and not let them live with China. This means that only benevolent people can love people and hate people. Seeing the virtuous but not being able to promote them, promoting them but not being able to lead them, is fate; seeing the evil but not being able to retreat, retreating but not being able to stay away, is a mistake. To like what people hate and to hate what people like is to go against people's nature, and the harm will surely come to oneself. Therefore, a gentleman has a great way, and he must be loyal and faithful to gain it, and arrogant and complacent to lose it.
When the king summons, even if they are low-ranking people, officials and scholars must drive themselves. The assistants do not bow, but bow for the bow of others. The auspicious carriage is open to the left, and riding in the king's carriage is not allowed to open to the left; the left must be bowed. When the servants drive, women advance their left hands, then their right hands; when driving the king, advance their right hands, then their left hands and bow. The king does not ride in a strange carriage. Do not cough widely on the carriage, and do not point randomly. Stand and look at the five corners, look at the horse's tail, and look back not beyond the hub. In the country, use a whip to show respect and do not drive. Dust does not go astray. The king of a country lowers his cattle to the ancestral temple. The great officials and scholars lower their gates to the public office and ride on the road. When riding on a road horse, one must wear court clothes and carry a whip and spurs. One must not give the reins, and the left hand must be in a hurry. When walking on a road horse, one must walk in the middle of the road. If one uses his feet to push the road horse's fodder, he will be punished. If one is a senior road horse, he will be punished.
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