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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Kang Sengyuan first crossed the river, no one knew him, so he kept going around the markets begging for money to support himself. Suddenly he went to Yinyuan's Xu, where there were guests. Yin asked him to sit down and chatted with him, and then talked about morality. I have never been ashamed of my words and expressions. Get a rough idea and go to visit. From this I know it.
When the princes travel and die in the guesthouse, they will return to their country. If they are on the road, they will raise the left hub of their carriage and use it to saddle it. Their saddles have a saddle, and they travel with black cloth skirts and white brocade curtains as a roof. When the temple gate is reached, the wall is not torn down before entering the place of burial, but only the chariot is used to announce the death outside the temple gate. When a senior official or scholar dies on the road, the left hub of the carriage is lifted up and the body is brought back with the reins. If the death occurs at the residence, the body is brought back as at home. Senior officials use cloth as chariots to walk, and when they arrive at home, they use the chariots to carry the body, and when they enter the gate and reach the steps on the east side, they use the chariots to carry the body, and then they are lifted up from the steps on the east side and brought back to the place of burial. The chariots of scholars use reed mats as the roof and cattail mats as the skirt and curtain.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
Shan Gong was highly regarded in the court and even when he was over seventy years old, he still knew how to manage the current affairs. Guisheng is young, like He, Pei, Wang and others, and they all talk and chant together. There is an inscription on the pillar of the pavilion: "To the east of the pavilion, there is a big ox, He Jiaoyang, Pei Kaiqiu, and Wang Ji are so angry that they can't rest." Some say: Pan Ni built it.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
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