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When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
People regard Xie Shang as Lingda. Ruan Yaoji says: "It is as clear and fluent as Da." Some say: "Shang is naturally Lingda."
The Master said: "Everyone says I know, but they are driven into the traps and snares, and no one knows how to avoid them. Everyone says I know, but they choose the moderate, but they cannot keep it for a month."
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
The host pays the guest to the door, the song ends three times, and the host offers it; the sheng enters three times, and the host offers it; the interlude ends three times, and the music ends three times. The musician announces that the music is ready, and then leaves. One person raises the cup, and then the Sizheng stands there, knowing that he can harmonize the music without drifting.
Ziyun: "The etiquette of the guest always advances to show respect, and the funeral etiquette always adds distance." Bathing in the middle stream, eating under the window, small burial inside the door, large burial on the east side, funeral in the guest seat, ancestral worship in the courtyard, burial in the tomb, so as to show distance. The Yin people mourned at the grave, and the Zhou people mourned at home, showing that the people were not rebellious. Ziyun: "Death is the final service of the people, I follow Zhou." Because of this, there are still princes who died without burial. Ziyun: "Ascending from the guest steps, receiving condolences at the guest seat, teaching the people to pursue filial piety." Not calling the king before the death shows that the people are not quarrelsome. Therefore, the "Spring and Autumn Annals" of Lu recorded the funeral of Jin and said: "Kill the son of the king Xiqi and his king Zhuo." Because of this, there are still sons who kill their fathers.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Emperor Yuan of Han had many women in his palace, so he ordered painters to draw them. If he wanted to call someone, he would just open the picture and call him. Among them, the most common ones are those who engage in bribery. Wang Mingjun was very beautiful and did not seek perfection, so the craftsman destroyed his appearance. Later, the Huns came to make peace and asked the Han emperor for beautiful women, and the emperor regarded them as a wise ruler. After summoning him, he felt sorry for him. But the name had already been left and he didn't want to change it, so he just went ahead with it.
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