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In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
Zheng Xuan was a student of Ma Rong for three years, but they were not able to meet each other. He was just a senior disciple and was taught by him. I tried to calculate the celestial body and found that it was not in harmony, and none of my disciples could explain it. Some say that the mysterious person can summon and calculate, and can make a decision in one turn.
In the way of learning, it is difficult to have a strict teacher. Only when the teacher is strict can the way be respected, and only when the way is respected can the people know to respect learning. Therefore, there are two things that the ruler should not be a servant to his ministers: when they are corpses, they should not be a servant, and when they are teachers, they should not be a servant. The etiquette of the university, even if it is issued to the emperor, does not face north; this is to respect the teacher.
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
There was a great historian in Wei named Liu Zhuang who was ill. The Duke said, "If the illness worsens, you must inform me even if you are supposed to offer sacrifices." The Duke bowed twice and asked for the corpse, saying, "There is a minister named Liu Zhuang, who is not my minister, but a minister of the state. I heard that he died, so I will go." He went without taking off his mourning clothes, and then wrapped him up. He gave him the name of the Qiu family in the city and the name of the Pan family in the county, and put it in the coffin, saying, "My descendants will be there for generations, and there will be no change."
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