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When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.
Ziyun: "Rites are used to clarify doubts and distinguish subtle things, which are used to censor the people. "Therefore, the noble and the humble have different levels, clothes are different, and there are positions in the court, so the people will give way to each other. Confucius said: "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two masters in the family, and no two superiors. This shows the people that there is a difference between the monarch and the minister." The Spring and Autumn Annals does not refer to the funeral of the king of Chu and Yue, the ritual king does not refer to the sky, and the officials do not refer to the monarch, fearing that the people will be confused. The Book of Songs says: "Why don't we meet each other in the morning? I am still worried about it." Confucius said: "The king does not ride in the same car with people of the same surname, and ride in the same car with people of different surnames but wear different clothes, showing that the people do not dislike it." In this way, the people can still kill their monarch with the same surname.
Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
Later, when I was young, there were many people who were very knowledgeable. Lord Shen said, "Huang Wen is young, so don't comment on the old scholars. In the past, he had dealings with the two emperors Yuan and Ming, and the two lords Wang and Yu."
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
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