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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.

Sacrifice is a great thing, and it is a preparation for everything. Is it the root of education to follow the preparation? Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman is to teach people to respect their rulers and elders externally and to be filial to their parents internally. Therefore, when a wise ruler is above, all ministers obey; when the ancestral temples and the altar of the country are respected, the descendants are obedient and filial. Do your best and be upright in your righteousness, and the teaching will come into being. Therefore, when a gentleman serves his ruler, he must practice it himself. What he does not like in his superiors, he will not use his subordinates; what he hates in his subordinates, he will not serve his superiors; if he does not do it to others, he will do it to himself, which is not the way of teaching. Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman must start from its root and follow the ultimate, and sacrifice is it? Therefore, it is said: sacrifice is the root of education. There are ten relationships in sacrifice: the way to serve ghosts and gods, the righteousness between the ruler and the minister, the relationship between father and son, the distinction between the noble and the humble, the killing of relatives and strangers, the bestowal of titles and rewards, the difference between husband and wife, the balance of political affairs, the order of the old and the young, and the relationship between superiors and subordinates. These are the ten relationships.




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更新时间:2025-03-13

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