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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
General Wang said in front of everyone, "There has never been anyone who became one of the Three Dukes in the Zhou Dynasty." Someone answered, "Only Zhou Hou Yi led five horses but failed to defeat him." The general said, "Zhou and I met at Luoyang and we were wiped out at once. The world was in turmoil and it has come to this!" He burst into tears.
When Prime Minister Wang visited Yangzhou, he was greeted by hundreds of guests, all of whom had a favorable look on their faces. There were only a guest named Ren from Linhai and several Hu people with whom he had not yet gotten along. The Duke therefore went to Ren's border and said, "If you leave, there will be no one left in Linhai." Ren was overjoyed. As he passed by a Hu people, he snapped his fingers and said, "Lanjie, Lanjie." All the Hu people laughed, and everyone sitting there was happy.
When Wang Yi Shao was in Kuaiji, when he first arrived, Zhi Daoling was there. Sun Xinggong said to Wang, "Zhi Daolin is an innovative and unique person with a broad mind. Do you want to meet him?" Wang had his own unique spirit and looked down on Zhi Daolin. Later, Sun and Zhi were carried together to Wang Xu, the king's capital, and they did not interact with each other. After a moment they retreated, and just as the king was about to set out, his carriage was already at the door. Zhi said to the king, "You can't leave yet. I want to talk to you a little." Then he talked about Zhuangzi's "Xiaoyaoyou". Zhi wrote thousands of words, with novel talent and brilliant words. The king then opened his collar and undressed, unable to stop lingering.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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