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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Wang Wendu was the chief secretary of Duke Huan, Duke Huan asked for a daughter from the king for his son, and the king agreed to ask for a daughter from Lantian. After returning, Lantian missed Wendu very much and still held him on his lap even though he had grown up. Wendu then told Huan that he wanted his daughter's knee. Lantian was furious and pushed Wendu to his knees and said, "What a shame! Wendu is foolish again. Are you afraid of Huan Wen? How can you marry your daughter to him?" Wendu replied, "My family has found a marriage place first." Duke Huan said, "I know it. It's just that your Excellency doesn't want to." Later, Huan's daughter married Wendu's son.
The Youyu clan raised the state elders in Shangxiang and raised the common elders in Xiaxiang. The Xiahou clan raised the state elders in Dongxu and raised the common elders in Xixu. The Yin people raised the state elders in Youxue and raised the common elders in Zuoxue. The Zhou people raised the state elders in Dongjiao and raised the common elders in Yuxue: Yuxue was in the western suburbs of the country. The Youyu clan offered sacrifices to the emperor and raised the elderly in deep clothes. The Xiahou clan harvested and offered sacrifices, and provided for the elderly in Yan clothing. The Yin people offered sacrifices in a veil, and provided for the elderly in white clothing. The Zhou people offered sacrifices in a crown, and provided for the elderly in black clothing. All the three kings provided for the elderly according to age. A son of an eighty-year-old man shall not participate in politics, a ninety-year-old man shall not be involved in politics, and a disabled person who is not supported by others shall not participate in politics. In the mourning of parents, there shall be no participation in politics for three years. In the mourning of mourning for the eighth year of ... Father's teeth go with the father, elder brother's teeth go in a line, friends do not exceed each other. Light responsibilities are shared, heavy responsibilities are divided, and gray-haired people are not carried. Gentlemen and old people do not walk alone, and common people and old people do not eat alone.
Foreign affairs are firm on the day, and domestic affairs are gentle on the day. For divination days: those outside the ten days are called distant days, and those within the ten days are called near days. Funerals are preceded by distant days, and auspicious days are preceded by near days. It is said: "For the day, if you use the tortoise shell, there is a regularity, and if you use the divination stick, there is a regularity."
Confucians are knowledgeable but not exhausted, and they practice diligently but not tired; they live in seclusion but not licentious, and they are connected with their superiors but not in trouble; they value harmony in etiquette, the beauty of loyalty and trustworthiness, and the law of leisure. They promote the virtuous and tolerate the masses, and criticize the square and unite the tiles. Their generosity is like this.
Wang Zhonglang once asked Liu Changsha, "How am I compared to Gou Zi?" Liu replied, "Your talent is not as good as Gou Zi's, but you are famous in many places." Wang laughed and said, "You are stupid!"
Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
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