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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
The person who peels melons for the emperor serves as his deputy and wears a gauze scarf. The ruler of a country should dress it up and wear a scarf with a silk scarf. The officials are burdened by it, the scholars are sick of it, and the common people are bitten by it.
When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
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