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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When Lord Gaogui passed away, there was an uproar both inside and outside the city. Sima Wenwang asked Chen Tai, the attendant, "How can we calm it down?" Tai said, "Only by killing Jia Chong can we thank the world." Sima Wenwang asked, "Can we lower this level?" Chen Tai replied, "We only see the upper level, not the lower level."
When Xu Yuan was young, people compared him to Wang Gouzi, which made Xu very upset. At that time, many people and Master Yu were giving lectures at the West Temple in Kuaiji, and the king was also there. Xu Yi was very angry, so he went to the West Temple to discuss the pros and cons with Wang. The king was deeply humiliated after being so frustrated. Xu Fu held Wang's position, and Wang held Xu's position, and they exchanged letters with each other; Wang was again submissive. Xu said to Master Zhi: "What did your disciple say just now?" Zhi said calmly: "Your words are good, but why do you have to be so bitter? This is not a talk about seeking the truth!"
A gentleman practices etiquette and does not seek to change customs. The rituals of sacrifice, mourning clothes, and crying positions are all the same as those of his country. He should carefully revise the laws and implement them carefully. After leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are listed in the court, and there is an imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. If brothers and clansmen are still alive, they should report to the clan queen; after leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are not listed in the court, and there is no imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. Only on the day of the new country, the law of the new country should be followed. A gentleman does not change his name after he is orphaned. If he becomes noble after being orphaned, he does not give his father a posthumous title. In mourning, before the burial, read the funeral ceremony; after the burial, read the sacrificial ceremony; after the mourning, read the music.
When serving an elder, one should not go into the hall with his shoes on, and one should not stand on the steps without taking off his shoes. Take off the shoes, kneel down and lift them up, then put them aside. The village elders wear sandals; they kneel to remove the sandals and bend down to put them on.
Whenever Huan Changshi heard people talking about Lord Shen, he would say, "This man has a long-standing reputation, is well-known by our ancestors, and is also a close friend of our ancestors. It is not appropriate to talk about him."
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