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When Zhi Daoling returned to the east, the wise men of the time saw him off at Zhenglu Pavilion. Cai Zishu came forward and sat close to Lin Gong. Xie Wanshi came later and sat a little far away. Cai got up temporarily, and Xie moved to his place. When Cai returned, he saw Xie there. He folded the mattress, lifted Xie up and threw him to the ground, then sat down again. He thanked the emperor for taking off his hat and cap, then slowly stood up, straightened his clothes and sat down on the mat. He looked very calm and not angry or frustrated at all. After sitting down, he said to Cai, "You are a strange man, and you may ruin my reputation." Cai replied, "I don't care about your reputation." After that, neither of them minded.
Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
He Yan was the Minister of Personnel and held a prestigious position. His room was always filled with guests for conversation. Wang Bi, who was not yet twenty years old, went to see him. Yan heard of Bi's name, so he cited the superior theory of the previous one and said to Bi: "I think this theory is the best, can you challenge it again?" Bi then challenged, and everyone in the room thought he was inferior. So Bi acted as the host and the guest several times, but each time he was better than others.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Yin Jingzhou once asked Yuan Gong: "What is the essence of Yi?" He replied: "The essence of Yi is sensation." Yin said: "The collapse of Tongshan Mountain in the west and the echo of Lingzhong in the east, is this Yi?" Yuan Gong smiled but did not answer.
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
Those who follow others in mourning should not mourn until their parents are gone. Those who follow others should mourn even when their parents are dead. If a concubine leaves a female ruler, she should not mourn for the female ruler's son. According to etiquette, there is no sacrifice without the king. The crown prince does not lower his wife's parents; his wife is the same as the son of a senior official. If the father is a scholar and the son is the emperor or a prince, then sacrifices are made to the emperor or a prince, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If the father is the emperor or a prince and the son is a scholar, sacrifices are made to the scholar, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If a woman leaves the house when she is in mourning, she should be removed. If she leaves the house before mourning for her parents, she should be mourned for three years. If she leaves the house after mourning, it is over. If she returns without mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time; if she returns after mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time.
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