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Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
When Taifu Xie was sailing eastward, a villain was guiding the boat, sometimes slowing down, sometimes speeding up, sometimes stopping, sometimes waiting, and also letting the boat go sideways, causing it to hit people and crash into the shore. The Duke did not reprimand him at first. People say that you are never angry or happy. I once accompanied my brother on his return from a funeral in the west. It was a rainy day and we were all drunk, so I couldn't do anything about it. The Duke then took the carriage pillar and hit the driver with a very loud and fierce sound. Water is calm and gentle in nature, but it rushes violently when it enters a narrow passage. The local people are well aware that in a remote and isolated place, it is impossible to preserve their purity.
Ruan Guanglu said: "There are three young men in the Wang family: Youjun, Anqi, and Changyu."
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