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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Guo Zigao said, "Burial means hiding; hiding means that people cannot see it. Therefore, clothes are enough to decorate the body, the coffin is surrounded by clothes, the outer coffin is surrounded by coffin, and the earth is surrounded by the outer coffin; turn the soil and plant trees."
Yin Jingzhou once asked Yuan Gong: "What is the essence of Yi?" He replied: "The essence of Yi is sensation." Yin said: "The collapse of Tongshan Mountain in the west and the echo of Lingzhong in the east, is this Yi?" Yuan Gong smiled but did not answer.
Wen Gong mourned his wife, from his aunt Liu family, the family value is chaotic and separated, only a daughter, very beautiful, aunt to be a subordinate to find marriage, the public secretly has the intention of self-marriage, answer Yun: "Good son-in-law is rare, but such as Yu Bi Yun what?" Report Gu Yun: "Has found a wedding place, the door is rough, the son-in-law is famous eunuch, all not reduced." Because the jade mirror stand a piece, the wedding, the girl with her hand covered with a silk fan, stroking her palms laughed and said: "I suspect it is an old slave, if it is like this!"
People say that "Yu Wenkang is jade in a good year, and Zhigong is grain in a famine year." Yu Jia Lun says that Wen Kang called "Gong is the grain in a famine year, and Yu Changren is the jade in a good year."
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