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From benevolence, leading relatives, and going up to the ancestors, it is called light. From righteousness, leading ancestors, and going down to the ancestors, it is called heavy. One is light and the other is heavy, and the meaning is so.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
When the three kings offered sacrifices to the river, they all first went to the river and then to the sea; some were the source, and some were the tributary. This is called focusing on the root.
Confucius said: "How can Zang Wenzhong know the rituals! Xia Fu Fuqi was against the sacrifice, but he did not stop. Burning firewood in the ao, the ao is the sacrifice of old women, with basins and bottles. Rituals are like the body. If the body is not complete, the gentleman says it is not a man. If it is not properly set, it is still incomplete."
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