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If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
Yu Zigong was disabled and very well-known. His home was in the west of the city and was called the City West Mansion.
Meng Jia of Wuchang was an official of Yu Taiwei and was already well-known. Taifu Zhu had the ability to judge people. After leaving Yuzhang, he returned and passed by Wuchang. He asked Yu, "I heard that Meng Congshi is good. Is he here now?" Yu said, "You can go and find him yourself." Zhu stared at him for a long time, pointed at Jia and said, "This man is a little different. Could he be the right one?" Yu laughed and said, "Yes!" At that time, he admired Zhu's insight and was also happy that Jia appreciated him.
銆銆When Xie Renzu was eight years old, Xie Yuzhang was about to see off a guest. At that time, he had already attained enlightenment from his words and entered the upper stream. Everyone sighed and said, "He is the younger Yan Hui sitting here." King Renzu said, "Without Ni Fu sitting here, how can we distinguish Yan Hui?"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
The legend says: "There are those who are light and heavy, and the wife of a prince is his aunt. There are those who are heavy and light, and the wife's parents. There are those who are without mourning and with mourning, and the prince's wife is his brother-in-law. There are those who are with mourning and without mourning, and the prince is his wife's parents." The legend says: "When the mother is divorced, the stepmother's party mourning is worn; when the mother dies, the stepmother's party mourning is worn. If the stepmother's party mourning is worn, then the stepmother's party mourning is not worn."
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
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