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People say that "Yu Wenkang is jade in a good year, and Zhigong is grain in a famine year." Yu Jia Lun says that Wen Kang called "Gong is the grain in a famine year, and Yu Changren is the jade in a good year."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The father offers sacrifices to the son and then orders the bride to go up, and the man goes before the woman. The son accepts the order and goes to the temple to greet the bride. The host sets up a banquet in the temple, and then greets the bride outside the door. The son-in-law enters with a goose, bows and yields to the gods, and then bows again to offer the goose, which is to receive it from his parents personally. . After the wedding, the bride comes out in the carriage, and the husband hands over the reins, and the bridegroom rides three times. He waits outside the door first, and when the bride arrives, the husband bows to her and lets her in, and they eat together, and drink wine together, so as to unite the body and treat the people equally, and treat them with affection.
When Zuo Taichong first completed his "San Du Fu", people at that time ridiculed him and he was not satisfied. Later showed it to Mr. Zhang. Zhang said, "These two capitals can be three, but your literary talent is not well-respected in the world, so it is better to find a scholar with high reputation." Si then consulted Huangfu Mi. Mi sighed when he saw it, and then wrote a preface for it. As a result, all those who were not disloyal to the previous prime minister bowed their heads and praised him.
Xi Sikong was in the Northern Palace, and Huan Xuanwu disliked him for holding military power. Xi was always in the dark about the situation, so he sent a letter to Huan: "I want to help the royal family and repair the gardens and tombs." The crown prince Jiabin was on a journey. When he heard the letter on the road, he hurriedly took the letter, read it, and found it was torn into pieces, so he returned. He also wrote a letter, explaining that he was old and sick, and could not bear the idleness of others, so he wanted to ask for some vacant land to support himself. Xuanwu was overjoyed when he received the letter, and immediately ordered the transfer of the Duke to supervise five counties and be the prefect of Kuaiji.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Only the most holy man in the world can be wise and knowledgeable, enough to be in charge; generous and gentle, enough to be tolerant; strong and resolute, enough to be firm; dignified and upright, enough to be respectful; meticulous and discerning, enough to distinguish. He is vast and profound, and he always releases it. He is as vast as the sky, and as deep as the abyss. When he sees it, the people all respect it, when he speaks, the people all believe it, and when he acts, the people all praise it. Therefore, his reputation spreads throughout China and extends to the barbarians. Wherever boats and cars can reach, wherever human power can reach, wherever the sky covers, wherever the earth carries, wherever the sun and the moon shine, wherever frost and dew fall, all living beings respect their parents, so he is said to be in harmony with heaven.
Zixia asked the Master, "Live in the funeral of your mother and wife." "Live, talk, eat and drink."
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