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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The sacrifice to the king's father is called Huangzukao, and the king's mother is called Huangzubi. The father is called Huangkao, and the mother is called Huangbi. The husband is called Huangbi. When alive, they are called father, mother, and wife. When dead, they are called father, mother-in-law, and concubine.
Wang Yifu compared Wang Donghai to Yue Ling, so Wang Zhonglang wrote on his stele: "At that time, he was the model for Yue Guang."
When the general Wang came down, Duke Yu asked, "You have four friends, who are they?" They replied, "Your family's Zhonglang, my family's Taiwei, A Ping, and Hu Wu Yanguo. Therefore A Ping should be the worst." Yu said, "It seems he is not willing to be inferior." Yu asked again, "Who is on his right?" The king said, "There is someone." He asked again, "Who is it?" The king said, "Ah! He has his own opinion." The people on both sides urged the duke to stop.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Duke Wen liked to speak slowly, while Duke Bian was a man of courtesy and rules. When they reached Yu Gongxu, they had a big fight. Wen started to speak vulgarly, and Yu Gong said slowly: "Taizhen never speaks vulgarly all day long."
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
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