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Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
Duke Wen liked to speak slowly, while Duke Bian was a man of courtesy and rules. When they reached Yu Gongxu, they had a big fight. Wen started to speak vulgarly, and Yu Gong said slowly: "Taizhen never speaks vulgarly all day long."
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
Yin Zhongkan, the son-in-law of Dongyang, was also present. Fu Ya is good at reasoning and righteousness, and is on par with Zhong Kan in understanding all things. Yin questioned this, and Yang said, “After you have repeated it four times, you should be able to see the same thing.” Yin laughed and said, “You can get everything, why do you have to see the same thing?” After four times, they finally saw the same thing. Yin Zi sighed and said, "I am no different from you." He sighed for a long time for being a newcomer.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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