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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xie Cheqi said to Xie Gong: "There is no need to sing loudly when wandering around. Just sit respectfully, twiddle your nose and look around, and you will feel like you are sleeping in the mountains and lakes and having a leisurely time."
The person who ordered the wine was poured, said, "Please serve the wine." The person who poured the wine said, "Yes." Those who were supposed to drink all knelt down to offer the wine, and said, "Pour it." The winner knelt down and said, "Respectfully raise it."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
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