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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zhang Tianxi was the governor of Liangzhou and was in charge of the western part of the province. After being captured by Fu Jian, he was appointed as the Shizhong. Later, they were both defeated in Shouyang and went to the capital, where he was favored by Emperor Xiaowu. Every time I talk, it lasts all day long. There was a person who was jealous of him. He asked Zhang: "What is valuable in the north?" Zhang said: "Mulberry is sweet and fragrant, and owls are chirping. Pure cheese nourishes the nature, and people are not jealous."
When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
When He Pingshu's annotations to Laozi were completed, he presented them to Wang Fusi. When he saw Wang's annotations were exquisite and unique, he was amazed and said, "Such a person can discuss the relationship between heaven and man with me!" Therefore, he regarded his annotations as the Second Essay on Morality.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
Mrs. Xi, the wife of Wang Youjun, said to her two younger brothers, Sikong and Zhonglang, "When the Wang family saw the two Xies, they were very happy; but when they saw you, they were indifferent. You don't need to bother to go again."
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