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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The Master said: "The way of a gentleman is to open up the streets and the people are what the streets lack. "If a great man is a censor, the people will still go beyond him. Therefore, a gentleman should use rites to censor virtue, punish punishments to censor extravagance, and command to censor desire.
When the king meets the guests, and the king bestows the title, they all bow twice and kowtow, and then rise to bow, which shows the etiquette of the ministers; the king returns the bow, and all the courtesy is returned, which shows the etiquette of the king. Ministers try their best to make contributions to the country, and the monarch will reward them with titles and salaries. Therefore, ministers should try their best to make contributions, so the country is safe and the monarch is at peace. There is no ritual that is not answered, which means that the superior does not take in vain from the subordinates. The superior must clarify the right way to guide the people, and the people follow the way and make contributions, and then take one tenth of it, so the superior has enough and the subordinate is not short of it; so the superior and the subordinate are in harmony and do not resent each other. Harmony and peace are the purpose of rituals; this is the great righteousness of the superior and the subordinate. Therefore, it is said that the banquet ritual is to clarify the righteousness of the superior and the subordinate.
The head of the Kyushu island enters the emperor's country and is called Mu. Those with the same surname as the emperor are called uncles; those with different surnames are called uncles; they are called marquises in other places; they are called lords in their own countries. Those in the East Yi, North Di, West Rong, and South Man, although they are big, are called sons. In the inner court, he called himself "Bu Gu", and in the outer court, he called himself "Wang Lao". When the common people and minor dukes entered the emperor's country, they called themselves "so-and-so", and in the outer court, they called themselves "son", and they called themselves "gu". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced north to meet the emperor, which was called "Jin". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced east and the dukes faced west, which was called "chao".
Eat for three days, bathe for three months, and practice after a period of time, so that destruction does not destroy nature, and death does not hurt life. Mourning does not exceed three years, and mourning clothes do not repair, and graves are not built; on auspicious days, white harps are played to inform the people of the end; this is a rule of moderation. From serving the father to serving the mother, and love the same. There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two rulers in a country, no two masters in a family, and they are all governed by one. Therefore, when the father is alive, the mother should mourn for the same period of mourning, which shows that there is no two masters.
During the death of Duke Kao of Zhulou, Lord Xu sent Rongju to offer condolences to Han, saying: "My lord sent Rongju to sit with Han and present the Marquis' jade. He sent Rongju to Han." The officials said: "The princes who come to humiliate my city are easy to easy and easy to be mixed. There has never been one who is easy to be mixed." Rongju replied: "Rongju heard that serving the lord should not forget his lord, nor should he forget his ancestors. In the past, my ancestor King Ju went west to fight and crossed the river, and he did not follow this saying. Rongju, a Lu man, dare not forget his ancestors."
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