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The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Duke Huan asked Huan Ziye: "Xie Anshi knew that Wan Shi would fail, why didn't he advise him?" Ziye replied: "So he should be difficult to offend!" Duke Huan said angrily: "Wan Shi is weak and ordinary, why is it difficult to offend Yan Yan?"
The Duke of Zhou said to the father of Wang Changshi: He has a majestic appearance, elegant mind and great ambition. If we protect and use him, he can be used to make many things.
Xi Chao dealt with Fu Yuan, and Yuan saw that his two sons had their hair tied together. Chao observed it for a long time and said to Yuan, "The younger one is more talented and famous, but the one who can protect your family will ultimately depend on your brother." These are Fu Liang's brothers.
》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
When Zilu's sister died, he could have removed his hairpin, but he didn't. Confucius asked, "Why didn't you remove it?" Zilu said, "I have few brothers and sisters, but I can't bear it." Confucius said, "The previous kings established the rituals, and people on the road can't bear it." Zilu heard about it and removed it.
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