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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
Emperor Yuan of Han had many women in his palace, so he ordered painters to draw them. If he wanted to call someone, he would just open the picture and call him. Among them, the most common ones are those who engage in bribery. Wang Mingjun was very beautiful and did not seek perfection, so the craftsman destroyed his appearance. Later, the Huns came to make peace and asked the Han emperor for beautiful women, and the emperor regarded them as a wise ruler. After summoning him, he felt sorry for him. But the name had already been left and he didn't want to change it, so he just went ahead with it.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Lord Lin said to Wang Youjun: "The Chief Secretary has written hundreds of words, all of which are virtuous, but he seems to be sad that they are not bitter." Wang said: "The Chief Secretary himself does not want to make things bitter."
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