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When Emperor Wen of Wei accepted the abdication, Chen Qun looked sad. The emperor asked, "I have received the mandate from Heaven, why are you not happy?" The crowd said, "I and Hua Xin have obeyed the previous dynasty. Although we are happy about the emperor's influence, we still show our righteousness on our faces."
Duke Ai wanted to set up a "bo" for the funeral of Ru Zi Yu, and asked Youruo. Youruo said: "It's OK. Your three ministers also set up a "bo"." Yan Liu said: "The emperor rides a dragon carriage and a coffin curtain, and the princes ride a carriage and set up a curtain - the "bo" was set up for Yu Shen; the three ministers abandoned the carriage and set up a "bo", which is not in accordance with etiquette. Why do you learn from it!"
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "How do you think you compare to Xi Jian?" Zhou said: "Jian is a good minister, if he has the ability." He asked Xi again. Xi said: "Zhou Xi is comparable to me, and has the style of a great scholar."
Pei Sanqi married the daughter of Taiwei Wang. Three days after the wedding, all the sons-in-law gathered, including the famous scholars of the time and the sons of Wang and Pei. Guo Zixuan was present and started a conversation with Pei. Zixuan is very talented, but our first few friendships were not pleasant. Guo, Chen and Zhang were very powerful. Pei and Xu elaborated on what had been said before. Their logic was very subtle, and everyone present admired and praised them. The king was also surprised and said to the others, "Don't do that, you will be trapped by my son-in-law!"
Yu Gong had a horse called Lu, and someone told him to sell it. Yu said: "If you sell it, there must be a buyer, which will harm the owner. Would you rather not be safe yourself and transfer it to others? In the past, Sun Shuao killed a two-headed snake for future generations. It was a good story in ancient times. If you follow his example, wouldn't you be wise?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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