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When Han Kangbo was a few years old, his family was extremely poor. During the severe cold weather, he could only afford a jacket. The mother, Lady Yin, made it herself and asked Kang Bo to hold the iron. She said to Kang Bo, "Put on the quilt and make the scarf again soon." The child said, "It is enough. There is no need to make the scarf again." The mother asked why. He replied, "There is fire in the iron and the handle is hot. Now that I'm wearing chopsticks and clothes, the bottom should also be warm, so there is no need for ears." His mother was very surprised and knew that it was a national instrument.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When Wang Rong was seven years old, he used to play with other children. Look at the roadside plum trees with many fruits on their branches. All the children rushed to get it, but Rong did not move. When people asked him about it, he replied, "The tree grows by the road and has many fruits. It must be bitter plums." I picked them and found them to be true.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
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