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Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Ziyun: "When a villain is poor, he is prudent; when rich, he is arrogant; when prudent, he steals; when arrogant, he is disorderly." Rites are rules and regulations based on human nature, which are used to censor the people. Therefore, the sages set rules for wealth and nobility so that the rich will not be arrogant, the poor will not be prudent, and the noble will not be dissatisfied with the superiors, so disorder will be eliminated. Ziyun: "If the poor love music, the rich love rites, and the people are peaceful, the world will be almost there. The Book of Songs says: 'People are greedy and disorderly, and would rather be poisoned. '" Therefore, it is stipulated that the country should not exceed a thousand chariots, the capital should not exceed a hundred chariots, and the family should not be rich. With this rule, the princes still rebel.
"Confucians live with modern people and study with ancient people; they practice what they do in the present and they are regarded as models by future generations; they are not in the right era, and they are not supported by their superiors and pushed by their subordinates. There are people who form a party and endanger them. Their bodies can be endangered, but their will cannot be taken away. Although they live in danger, they still believe in their will and will not forget the people's suffering. Their worries are like this.
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
After crying, taboos are used. In etiquette, do not taboo names that are disliked. Two names are not tabooed. If you are in the service of your parents, you should taboo the king's parents; if you are not in the service of your parents, you should not taboo the king's parents. The king has no private taboos, and the nobles have public taboos. There is no taboo in the "Book of Songs" and "Book of Documents", and there is no taboo in writing. There is no taboo in the temple. The taboos of wives, even in front of the king, are not taboos; women do not taboo when leaving home. There is no taboo for major or minor merits. Ask about the prohibitions when entering the country, ask about the customs when entering the country, and ask about the taboos when entering the door.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
The Master said: "Only the gentleman can love his righteousness, while the villain poisons his righteousness. Therefore, the friends of the gentleman have their own hometowns, and their dislikes have their own directions; therefore, those who are near are not confused, and those who are far away do not doubt. The Book of Songs says: "The gentleman likes enemies. '" The Master said: "If you lightly reject poverty and humbleness, and value wealth and honor, then your love for the virtuous will not be firm, and your dislike for the evil will not be clear. Even if people say it is not beneficial, I will not believe it. The Book of Songs says: "Friends have a place to control, and control with dignity. '" The Master said: "Private favors do not belong to virtue, and the gentleman does not keep them for himself. The Book of Songs says: "People love me, showing me how to walk around. ’”
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