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When Xie Gong's fellow disciples gathered together, he asked Mao which line of poetry was the best? E Cheng said, "When I went there in the past, the willows were swaying; when I come back now, it is raining and snowing." The Duke said, "The destiny is determined by careful planning, and the distant plans are announced in due course." He said that this sentence has the profound meaning of an elegant person.
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
Minister Xi and Mr. Xie were on good terms. He often said: "Xie Qingxu's knowledge and insights are not without peer, but they can make you feel exhausted."
The meaning of the banquet etiquette of the princes: the king stands in the southeast of the steps to the east, facing the ministers to the south, and the ministers all move forward a little, which is the position; the king sits on the steps to the east, occupying the main position; the king stands alone on the seat, facing the west, and no one dares to approach him. It is the etiquette of setting up guests and drinking; letting the prime minister serve the host, and no minister dares to challenge the king in etiquette; not treating the ministers as guests, but the ministers as guests, is suspicious, which shows the meaning of suspicion; when the guests enter the central courtyard, the king lowers one level and bows to them, which is a courtesy.
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