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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Song Xi was once a concubine of General Wang, and later belonged to Xie Zhenxi. Zhenxi asked Xi: "How am I compared to the king?" He replied: "The king is like you, a farmer and a nobleman!" This was because Zhenxi was a seductive woman.
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Wang, Liu and Lin Gong looked at He Huqi, but He Huqi just looked at the documents and ignored them. The king said to He, "I have come here with Lord Lin to see you. I hope you will put aside your daily routine and respond to profound words. Why do you have to lower your head to look at this?" He said, "If I don't look at this, how can you survive?" Everyone thought it was a good idea.
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
Jian Wen said to Wang Huaizu: "You are not very talented, but you are not indifferent to fame and wealth; just a little bit of sincerity and honesty is enough to show a lot to others."
The etiquette of drinking in the village: those who are sixty sit, and those who are fifty stand and wait to listen to government affairs, so as to show respect for the elders. Those who are sixty have three beans, those who are seventy have four beans, those who are eighty have five beans, and those who are ninety have six beans, so as to show the care for the elderly. When the people know how to respect the elders and care for the elderly, they can then enter filial piety and brotherhood. When the people enter filial piety and brotherhood, they respect the elders and care for the elderly, and then the teaching is established. After the teaching is established, the country can be at peace. What a gentleman calls filial piety is not to see it every day when you come home; to gather the people in the village to shoot, teach them the etiquette of drinking in the village, and then the behavior of filial piety and brotherhood will be established.
The gentleman does not associate with the evil. The princes lose their land, and the name; the same surname is destroyed, and the name.
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