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When Xie Zhenxi was young, he heard that Yin Hao was good at speaking clearly, so he went to visit him. Yin had not yet mastered anything, so he wrote several hundred words to explain the various meanings of Xie. It has both beautiful ideas and rich language, which is enough to move people and shock people. Thank you for your attentiveness and attention, I couldn't help sweating on my face. Yin Xu said to his attendants, "Get the towel and wipe Xie Lang's face."
When Zhong Hui finished writing four books of essays, he really wanted to let Ji Gong see them. He placed it in his arms, and when he was ready, he was afraid of the difficulty, so he dared not take it out. He threw it far away outside the door and then turned around and ran away.
The brothers Wu Daozhu and Fuzi lived in Danyang County. Later, his mother, children and wife suffered hardships, and they cried day and night. When Si arrived, guests came to pay their respects, wailing and mourning, and passers-by shed tears. Han Kangbo was the prefect of Danyang at the time. His mother Yin was also in the county. Whenever he heard the cries of the two Wus, he would feel sad. He said to Kang Bo: "If you are selecting officials, you should take good care of this man." Kang Bo also knew him very well. Han later became the Minister of Personnel. The Great Wu could not avoid the mourning system, and the Small Wu became very powerful.
In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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