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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Lu Aigong asked Confucius, "Master, are your clothes Confucian clothes?" Confucius replied, "When I was young, I lived in Lu and wore a Fengye robe. When I grew up, I lived in Song and wore a Zhangfu hat. I have heard that a gentleman's learning is extensive, and his clothes are rustic; I don't know Confucian clothes."
When Cai Situ was in Luoyang, he saw that Lu Ji and his brothers lived in the three-room tiled house of the Assistant Director General. Shilong lived in the east end and Shiheng lived in the west end. Shilong is a gentle and cute person. Shi Heng was over seven feet tall, his voice was like a bell, and his words were often generous.
Wang Hun's wife, Ms. Zhong, gave birth to a daughter, Lingshu. Wu Zi sought a beautiful and simple match for his sister but failed. There was a military son who was very talented. Wu Zi wanted to marry his sister to him, so he told his mother, "If he is truly talented, I can leave his land to him, but you have to let me see him." Wu Zi then let the soldier's son live with the other children and asked his mother to observe him from behind the curtain. Afterwards, his mother said to Wu Zi, "The one who wears clothes like this, is he the one you wanted to marry?" Wu Zi said, "Yes." His mother said, "This person has the talent to stand out, but the land is cold and he won't live long, so he can't make full use of his talent. Judging from his appearance and bones, he will not live long, so you shouldn't marry him." Wu Zi agreed. Bing'er died a few years later.
When Wang Rong was the Shizhong, the Nanjun prefect Liu Zhao left him five pieces of paper and cloth in a tube. Although Rong refused to accept them, he gave him a generous letter in return.
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
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