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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Great is the way of the sage! It is magnificent, and it develops all things, and reaches the highest point in the sky. Great is it! There are three hundred rites and three thousand awe-inspiring manners. Only when the right person is there can they act. Therefore, it is said: If one does not reach the highest virtue, the highest way will not be condensed there. Therefore, a gentleman respects virtue and morality and seeks knowledge. He strives for the great and the subtle. He is extremely wise and follows the doctrine of the mean. He reviews the old and learns the new, and is honest and respects the rites. Therefore, when in a high position, do not be arrogant, and when serving an inferior, do not be disloyal. If a country is ruled by the right way, his words will be enough to inspire it; if a country is ruled by the wrong way, his silence will be enough to tolerate it.
When Xie E was young, he liked to hold a purple silk sachet and hang it over his hand. The Grand Tutor was worried about it, but did not want to offend him, so he made a bet and burned it as soon as he could.
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
Xie Taifu said to Anbei: "Seeing him does not make people feel disgusted, but when he leaves the house, he no longer makes people miss him."
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