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When Liu Yin went to meet Wang Changshi Xu Qingyan, Gou Zi was thirteen years old at that time, leaning against the bed and listening. After he left, he asked his father, "How is Liu Yin's speech compared to mine?" The chief secretary said, "His elegant voice and graceful words are not as good as mine; but he always defeats the enemy, and he is worse than me."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Confucius returned first, and his disciples came later. It was raining heavily. When he arrived, Confucius asked him: "Why are you so late?" He said: "The tomb in Fang collapsed." Confucius did not answer., Confucius burst into tears and said: "I heard that in ancient times, tombs were not repaired."
Kong Pushe was the attendant of Emperor Xiaowu, and was invited to visit Emperor Liezong's tomb in advance. Kong was the Minister of Rites at the time. He was thin and frail, and wore heavy mourning clothes. He cried all day long, and those who saw him thought he was a truly filial son.
Students have four mistakes, and teachers must know them. When people learn, some mistakes are many, some are few, some are easy, and some are stopped. These four are different in the heart. Knowing their hearts, they can save their mistakes. Teaching is to cultivate goodness and save their mistakes.
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