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Yu Zisong's poem He Qiao said: "They are as dense as thousand-foot-high pines. Although they are piled up, they have branches. If they are placed in a building, they can serve as pillars."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
What is a cane? It is a title. On the third day, a son is given a cane, on the fifth day, a senior official is given a cane, and on the seventh day, a scholar is given a cane. Some say it is used to carry the main load; some say it is used to assist the sick. Women and children do not use a cane, and they cannot be sick. All officials and all things are ready. Those who do things without speaking are helped up; those who do things after speaking are helped up; those who do things themselves before walking have dirty faces. Bald people do not wear their hair, hunchbacks do not bare their shoulders, and lame people do not dance. The old and the sick do not stop drinking and eating meat. All these eight are controlled by power.
When Liu Gongrong drank with others, he drank with a mix of dirty and inappropriate people, and some people ridiculed him. He replied, “Those who are better than you, must drink with you; those who are not as good as you, must also drink with you; and those who are of your level, must also drink with you.” So they drank together all day and got drunk.
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
"Confucians praise their relatives without avoiding relatives, and promote their relatives without avoiding enemies. They accumulate merits and deeds, promote the virtuous and promote them, and do not expect rewards. The king gets his will and does not seek wealth and honor as long as it benefits the country. They can promote the virtuous and support them like this.
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