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Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
If the guest is not here to eat or drink, then a table will be laid out with a space of one meter between them. The host kneels at the table, and the guest kneels and touches the table to leave. The guest left the seat, but the host refused. The guest stepped onto the mat and sat down. If the host doesn't ask, the guest shouldn't raise his question first. I will improvise, so don't be embarrassed. Use both hands to pull the clothes up to the ruler. Do not tear your clothes and do not step on your feet.
Zengzi went to Fuxia to pay tribute to his ancestors. After the host filled the pond, he pushed the coffin back and brought it back. He brought down the women and then performed the rituals. The attendant asked, "Is it the etiquette?" Zengzi said, "The ancestor is Qie; Qie, why can't he stay overnight?" The attendant asked Ziyou again, "Is it the etiquette?" Ziyou said, "Eat under the window, bury the dead in a small way inside the door, bury the dead in a big way on the east side, and hold the funeral in the guest seat. The funeral is held in the courtyard and buried in the tomb. This is how it is far away. Therefore, funerals have progress but no retreat." Zengzi heard this and said, "It's too much. I'm the one who left the ancestor." Zengzi wore a fur coat to pay his respects, and Ziyou wore a fur coat to pay his respects. Zengzi pointed at Ziyou and showed him, "Fuck, you are a man who is accustomed to etiquette, how can you wear a fur coat to pay your respects?" The host had folded his hair in a small way, bared his clothes, and tied his hair; Ziyou hurried out and came back wearing a fur coat and a sash. Zengzi said, "I went too far, I went too far, this is it."
Xun Fengqian and his wife were very close. In winter, when his wife suffered from a fever, he went out to the courtyard to cool himself down, and then used his body to warm the fever. After his wife died, Feng Qian also died young. Therefore he was ridiculed by the world. Feng Qian said: "A woman's virtue is not worth mentioning, her beauty should be the main thing." Pei Ling heard this and said: "This is a matter of excitement, not a statement of great virtue. I hope that future generations will not forget this saying."
You won’t feel full if you eat together, and you won’t get your hands wet if you eat together. Do not knead the rice, do not let the rice fall, do not drink it out of the water, do not chew the food, do not gnaw the bones, do not eat fish or meat, and do not throw bones to dogs. Do not hold on to what you have gained, and do not show off your food. Do not use chopsticks to eat rice and millet. Do not spit on the soup, do not make the soup gurgling, do not prick your teeth, and do not swallow fishy food. The guest was eating soup, but the host could not accept it. The guest drank the meat, and the host declined. Moist meat is chewy, but dry meat is not chewy. Do not suck or roast.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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