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When Lu Wan was appointed Sikong, someone came to him and asked for good wine. When he got it, he stood up, dropped his chopsticks on the ground between the beams and pillars, and said, "There is a lack of talent in the world, so I use you as a pillar. Please don't destroy the pillars of others." He joked, "I will take your good advice."
When Jianwen was Fujun, he once went to the court with Huan Xuanwu, and they took turns to let each other sit in front. Xuanwu had no choice but to go ahead, so he said: "Bo also holds the spear and drives ahead for the king." Jianwen said: "It is said that 'no matter how small or big, follow the king in his march'."
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Hao Long served as a military officer in the Southern Barbarian Army under Duke Huan of Qin. On the third day of March, Hao Long met with the army and wrote a poem. Those who fail to do so will be fined three liters of wine. Long Chu thought he could not accept the punishment, so after drinking, he took up his pen and wrote a poem: "A fish jumps into the clear pond." Huan asked, "What is a fish?" He answered, "The barbarians call fish 'fish'." Huan Gong asked, "Why do you write in the barbarian language when you write a poem?" Long said, "I came a thousand miles to join you and was appointed as a military officer in the barbarian government. How can I not write in the barbarian language?"
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
If jade is not polished, it will not become a tool; if people do not learn, they will not know. Therefore, the ancient kings who established the country and ruled the people put teaching first. "The Book of Changes" says: "Remember the beginning and the end and learn." Is this what it means!
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