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When the stable burned, Confucius bowed to the villagers who came to the fire. He bowed once, and the officials twice. It is also the way to express condolences. Confucius said: "Guan Zhong encountered thieves and took two people with him. The king made them public officials and said: "The people he played with are good people!" After Guan Zhong died, Duke Huan made him mourn for him. The practice of officials mourning for officials started from Guan Zhong, and it was ordered by the king."
Yu Yuanke went to see Sun Jian. On duty, he saw Qi Zhuang outside. He was still young, but had a spirit. Yu asked him, "Where is Sun Anguo?" He answered, "He is at Yu Zhigong's house." Yu laughed and said, "Sun Anguo is so successful that he has a son like this!" He answered again, "He is not as careful as Yu Anguo." When he returned, he said to others, "I won because of this, so I can call my father's name again."
When asked about the age of the emperor, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “He can follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is older; he should answer, “He cannot follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a senior official, he should answer, “He can drive when he is older; he cannot drive when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a scholar, he should answer, “He can handle the formalities of the reception when he is older; he cannot handle the formalities of the reception when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a commoner, he should answer, “He can carry firewood when he is older; he cannot carry firewood when he is younger.” When asked about the wealth of the king, he should answer, “He can cook food with his own strength, and he does not need to use sacrificial utensils and clothes.” When asked about the wealth of a scholar, he should answer, “He can carry firewood with his own strength.” When asked about the wealth of common people, they should answer by counting their livestock.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
In the battle at Lang, Gongshu Yu met a man who came to the rescue with a stick on his back and said, "Even if he is sick and the responsibility is heavy, a gentleman cannot make plans, and a scholar cannot die. No! I have already said it." He and his neighbor Tong Wangji went there, and they all died there. The people of Lu wanted to avoid the death of Tong Wangji, so they asked Zhongni. Zhongni said: "If you can take up arms to defend the state, even if you don't want to die, isn't it good?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
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