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Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
Wang Zhonglang once asked Liu Changsha, "How am I compared to Gou Zi?" Liu replied, "Your talent is not as good as Gou Zi's, but you are famous in many places." Wang laughed and said, "You are stupid!"
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
When the emperor is about to offer sacrifices, he must first practice archery in the marsh. The marsh is where the men are selected. After shooting in the marsh, he can shoot in the archery palace. Those who hit the target can participate in the sacrifice; those who miss the target cannot participate in the sacrifice. Those who cannot participate in the sacrifice will be given a concession and their land will be reduced; those who can participate in the sacrifice will be celebrated and their land will be increased. This is how the rank is promoted and the land is reduced.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
The teacher's writing brush, zither and harp are in front of you. You sit down and move them, being careful not to cross them. Sit back when you have finished emptying your mind, and sit before you have finished eating. Sit down and be at peace, hold your face. If the elder is not up to standard, do not speak nonsense. Correct your appearance and listen respectfully. Do not suppress opinions and do not copy others. It must be the ancient times, called the former kings. Sitting in the presence of the teacher: the teacher asks me questions, and I answer them in the end. If you ask for work, you will get up. If you ask for advice, you will get up. When my father called me, I did not respond. When my teacher called me, I did not respond. So I just stood up. Sit in front of the one you respect most, and do not sit at any other table. I can't stand seeing the same. When the candles are lit, when the food is served, when the guests come, they stand up. The candle is not visible. Don't scold a dog in front of distinguished guests. Let food be eaten without spitting.
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
The etiquette of drinking in the village: those who are sixty sit, and those who are fifty stand and wait to listen to government affairs, so as to show respect for the elders. Those who are sixty have three beans, those who are seventy have four beans, those who are eighty have five beans, and those who are ninety have six beans, so as to show the care for the elderly. When the people know how to respect the elders and care for the elderly, they can then enter filial piety and brotherhood. When the people enter filial piety and brotherhood, they respect the elders and care for the elderly, and then the teaching is established. After the teaching is established, the country can be at peace. What a gentleman calls filial piety is not to see it every day when you come home; to gather the people in the village to shoot, teach them the etiquette of drinking in the village, and then the behavior of filial piety and brotherhood will be established.
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