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When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
Taifu Xie said to Wang Youjun: "In middle age, I am hurt by sorrow and joy. When I say goodbye to my relatives and friends, I feel sick for several days." Wang said: "I am in my twilight years, so it is natural for me to be like this. I rely on music and calligraphy. I am always afraid that my children will notice it and ruin my joy."
It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.
During the time of Su Jun, Kong Qun was forced to surrender in Hengtang by Kuang Shu. Prime Minister Wang kept Shu in his care, and when everyone was sitting and joking, he asked Shu to persuade people to drink in order to ease the regret about Hengtang. The crowd replied, "The virtue is not Confucius's, and the misfortune is the same as that of Kuang people. Although the sun and the air are warm, and the eagle is transformed into a dove, even those who know it will still hate its eyes."
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
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