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Don't point when you climb the city wall, and don't call out from above.
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
When riding a chariot, go out with the blade first and go in with the blade behind. The army should be on the left and the soldiers should be on the right. The host should be respectful to guests, be respectful at sacrifices, be sad at funerals, and be happy at meetings. The army should be prepared for danger and hide their intentions.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
On the winter solstice, Zhou Boren's mother gave wine to her three sons and said, "I thought there was nowhere to go after crossing the river. Your family has a prime minister, and you all lined up before me, so what do I have to worry about?" Zhou Song stood up, knelt down and cried, "It's not as my mother said. Boren is ambitious but incompetent, famous but ignorant, and likes to take advantage of others. This is not the way to save himself. Song is a rebellious person and is not tolerated by the world. I am the only one who is idle and should be under my mother's eyes!"
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, an official recorded a criminal coming at night. The king asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I just returned from receiving books from my teacher. I didn't realize it was getting late." The king said, "I'm trying to whip Ning Yue to establish my reputation, but I'm afraid this is not the right way to govern." He ordered an official to send him home.
During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
When He Pingshu's annotations to Laozi were completed, he presented them to Wang Fusi. When he saw Wang's annotations were exquisite and unique, he was amazed and said, "Such a person can discuss the relationship between heaven and man with me!" Therefore, he regarded his annotations as the Second Essay on Morality.
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