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The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
People say that "Yu Wenkang is jade in a good year, and Zhigong is grain in a famine year." Yu Jia Lun says that Wen Kang called "Gong is the grain in a famine year, and Yu Changren is the jade in a good year."
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
Han Shou was handsome, so Jia Chong appointed him as an official. Whenever Chong had a party, Jia's daughter would look through the green jade and see Shou, and she would be attracted by him. Always keep your thoughts in mind and express them in poetry. Later, the maid went to Shou's house and told him everything, and also said that the girl was radiant and beautiful. Shou was moved when he heard this, so he asked his maid to secretly communicate with him. Go there and stay at the appointed time. Shou Qiao was extremely agile and he climbed over the wall and entered the house without anyone knowing. Since then, Chong realized that Nu Sheng was wiping herself and her words were different from usual. Later, when he met with other officials, he heard that the shou had a strange fragrance, which was a tribute from foreign countries. If one person ate one chopstick, he would be able to eat it for months. I thought that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty only gave this incense to myself and Chen Qian, and no other family had this incense. I suspected that Shou had an affair with a girl, but the walls were heavy and the doors were steep. How could she have gotten there? He then made an excuse that there was a thief and ordered people to repair the wall. The envoy replied, "The rest is normal, except for the northeast corner where there seem to be traces of people. And the wall is too high for people to climb over." Chong then called the maids on either side of the girl for questioning, and they told him the situation. He kept it a secret and married his daughter to Shou.
When Xie E was young, he liked to hold a purple silk sachet and hang it over his hand. The Grand Tutor was worried about it, but did not want to offend him, so he made a bet and burned it as soon as he could.
The two sons of Yang Huai, the governor of Jizhou, Qiao and Mao, were both born with the intention of becoming talented people. Huai was friendly with Pei Wei and Yue Guang, so he sent people to meet them. Huai was generous and open-minded. He loved Qiao's high rhyme and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is a little inferior." Guang was pure and honest. He loved Mao's prudent mind and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is even more outstanding." Huai laughed and said, "The superiority and inferiority of my two sons is the superiority and inferiority of Pei and Le." Commentators commented that although Qiao had high rhyme, he was not prudent enough; while Le's words were appropriate. However, they are both outstanding talents that came later.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
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