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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Fan Qi and Yan wrote a guest letter: "Zi Jing raises his body without any mercy, and his skin has no residual moisture." Yan replied: "There is no residual moisture in lifting the body, how can the body be not real?"
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
Sun Xing said: "The talent of Cao's assistant is like a white brocade with bright light, cut into a pair of trousers with a back pattern. It is not without literary talent, but it is cruel and has no tailoring."
When Tao Gong was young, he worked as a fish weir official and once offered fish crucibles to his mother as a reward. The mother sealed the fish and gave it to the envoy, and wrote back to rebuke Kan, saying: "You are an official, and you use official goods to pay the bills. Not only is it of no benefit, but it also adds to my worries."
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
During the funeral of Confucius, his disciples wondered what to wear. Zigong said, "In the past, when the Master mourned Yan Yuan, he did not wear any clothes as if he had mourned his son; and he did the same when he mourned his son Lu. Please mourn the Master as if you had mourned your father and do not wear any clothes."
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