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When Wang Xiaobo was traveling in Beijing, he came to his brother Wang Du's house and asked, "Which line in ancient poetry is the best?" Du thought for a moment but did not answer. Xiao Bo chanted, "'How can I not age quickly if I encounter things without a reason?' This line is good."
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
Jianwen saw rice in the field and didn't recognize it, so he asked what kind of grass it was. The answer is rice. Jianwen returned and did not come out for three days, saying: "Would you rather rely on the end than know the root?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yu, the staff shall not be brought into the room; bu, the staff shall not be raised in the hall. If you are the descendant of the monarch's mother, when the monarch's mother dies, you shall not wear the party clothes of the monarch's mother. The sash shall be reduced by one-fifth and the staff shall be as big as the sash. If a concubine is the eldest son of the monarch, she shall be treated the same as the daughter of the monarch. When the mourning is over, the heavier one is worn first; when the mourning is changed, the lighter one is changed. The temple gate is opened for no reason. All mourning is done in the next place. The inscription is written again, and the words are the same from the emperor to the scholar. Men are called by their names, and women write their surnames and their brothers and sisters. If the surname is unknown, they write their clan names.
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
Foreign affairs are firm on the day, and domestic affairs are gentle on the day. For divination days: those outside the ten days are called distant days, and those within the ten days are called near days. Funerals are preceded by distant days, and auspicious days are preceded by near days. It is said: "For the day, if you use the tortoise shell, there is a regularity, and if you use the divination stick, there is a regularity."
In the ceremony of pitching a pot, the host holds the arrow, the shooter holds the target, and someone holds the pot. The host asked, "I have a pot of whistle with crooked arrows. Please use it to entertain the guests." The guest said, "You have delicious wine and delicious food. Since I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment, I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare to ask for it." The guest said, "I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment. I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare not refuse." The guest said, "I refuse to accept your order. How dare I not obey?" The guest bowed again to accept it. The host returned it and said, "Please." The host bowed on the steps of the east, and the guest returned it and said, "Please." After bowing, he received the arrows, went to the middle of the two pillars, retreated to his seat, and greeted the guests to the banquet.
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